From the mouth of babes...

Friday night was the night to be a pseudo parent and cheerleader. I attended a play at a local middle school here in Berkeley. The play was unique for a 7th-8th grade group. For one the students spent months collaborating with their director to write the play; to shape and mold the characters, to refine the scenes and to piece it all together. They were involved with every single aspect of the creative process: the production process--stage work, set design, even the lighting schema. They had to audition for their parts. In many cases they didn't get the part they wanted, the part they'd written (no doubt with themselves in mind for that role). They had to decide to continue being involved in a smaller role, or to invest their energy into a different character, inhabit it and make it theirs, and to lift up the ensemble as a whole, not just shine a spotlight on themselves.

The premise of the play is the daily struggle of kids their age in school. The struggle to fit in, to remain an individual because of culture or belief, but still wishing they could be more in the stream of things. The dinner/dance club committee is in a whirl of conflicting priorities. The popular set more interested in posting an embarrassing picture or photo of a classmate on Facebook or YouTube, than on preparing for the event. A student is seen pawing through lockers and pocketing cell phones. Another girl sits quietly apart from everyone, looking on longingly, separated by her shyness and her Hijab.  And then there is the 'missing money', the $2000.00 they raised from the students to pay for the dinner dance that some how never made it to the sponsor teacher's desk drawer...like it was supposed to. Only the committee president knows of this and accuses another committee member--the boy who swipes cell phones from student lockers--for the theft. He swears he didn't do it.

For nearly two hours, with no intermission, I watched these kids work through incredible tension, accusation, learning, and resolution of their own problems. I was amazed how they inhabited 3-dimensional characters and made them real, made them believable, made them sympathetic to the audience. I was proud at how they resolved the conflict--finding their own solution--no helicopter parent--no Mr. Holland to ride in on a charging steed and white-wash the situation for them. I think far too often our urge to protect our children from the harsh bumps and realities of this modern life--which many of us fear--leaves them ill prepared for their own decision making and conflict resolution.

Flip this into the digital world and it reminds me of a situation that had me spitting nails two weeks ago. I was locked out of Second Life calendaring tool for a few days because I made a post for a moderated/mature (non-ADULT rated sim) that used a bad word. This boggled my mind. All I'm advertising is musicians and music. How bad can that be? It's not like I'm booking Lenny Bruce here, or Sam Kinison. As it turns out...I was caught in the unpublished net of changes that Linden Labs instituted when they abolished the teen grind and moved those 16 and older into the main grid.  They put together a 'dirty word list'. What word did they catch? Let's see if you can catch it from this promo copy:

Bluemonk is a seasoned performer who cut his teeth on blues, country and jazz. He sings, plays piano and the gorgeous Hammond organ. In addition to incredible original music he covers such diverse artists as Carl Perkins, Joe Jackson, and John Lee Hooker.  His versatility is unparalleled and yet he remains faithful to his blues roots. We are very pleased to welcome Bluemonk to the Workshop. Come experience this gifted artist for yourself!

That's right. Blues legend John Lee Hooker. Hooker is apparently a very bad word for teens and there is no need for context to legitimize this word.  It took a few hours to peel myself off the ceiling and lower my blood pressure on this one. I shot off a nasty gram trouble ticket which LL has failed to address. I told them that my first-hand experience in mentoring teens and younger kids on line has proven time and again that banned word  lists protect no one; that an utter lack of context for when the word is used is ludicrous. I'd be happy to provide them with a workable, cost effective, plan to install reasonable safe guards for those over age 13 to help them instead of having them fumble finger around with this like internet virgins. (I'm sure they appreciated that... I just love hearing 'I don't want to tell you how to do your job...but let me TELL you how to do your job...')

 I had to strip JLH out of the copy.  There was nothing else I could do. If it wasn't a personal name, I probably could have dug into my not-so-shabby-vocabulary and used very flowing and descriptive phrases far more pointed than a simple word could be. I did this once for copy for EvaMoon Ember's notice when LL objected to my use of the word "vibrator."  Vibrator is a fairly innocuous word. Certainly less noticeable or remarkable than my substitution:  "If you've ever lost your heart to a chocolate bar, lusted after the UPS guy, or traded a man for a battery-operated-boyfriend, she has a song for you. "

HA! Take that SL.

Seriously. Do you know a 14, 16, or even 18 year old who has never heard or uttered the words hooker or vibrator? Seriously? What do you really think they're trying to protect here? Net Savvy, hip to sex and popular culture teens, or their own repressed and shame-faced professional reputations? This is just salt in the wound. More attempts to helicopter parent teens who deserve a far greater benefit of the doubt and more respect for their emerging selves than we or Linden Labs gives to them.

Just sayin'